My journey with chronic pain begins five years ago at 30 years old, I was sleeping soundly, and when I woke from what seemed like a fairly good night of sleep even with a 5 month old baby and 2 pre-schoolers I awoke with not being able to move. My body was completely immobile. If I tried to move in the slightest way it gave me pain like I had never felt before. As I laid there in bed waiting for my oldest to wake up and come in to bring me a phone to call my husband, I silently prayed asking God to please not let this mean I was paralyzed and to please let my baby continue to sleep soundly in the bassinet beside my bed until help came. Thankfully the good Lord answered both of those prayers. As I laid there frantically calling my husband we later found out I had a herniated cervical disc pinching a nerve.
This is where it all began. Long story short, after 5 years physical therapy, epidural injections, healing, reoccurring herniation of discs and more bulging cervical disc, more physical therapy, more epidural injection, etc etc… you get the drift …Degenerative Disc Disease diagnosis wasn’t to far behind and soon after that came the diagnosis of Scoliosis, and then Myofascial Pain Syndrome, then Fibromyalgia and now Chronic Fatigue. As I approach the age of 36 years old, I am feeling much older then I should. I am finding as time goes on I don’t really have a handle on how I feel about all of this. I push my feelings of anger and yes sometimes self pity (although self pity is one of my biggest pet peeves) deep down but lately they have been creeping up and I feel as if those feelings are eating me alive and I am losing what little control I have left and believe me I love control.
The reasons I wanted to start this blog have a lot to do with wanting to emotionally reach a level of acceptance and connect with others who truly know what life is like living like this. Not only to learn from this experience but maybe even find some laughter in the midst of this chaos. I am certainly no grammar scholar or fine tuned writer and never claimed to be. What I am however is a Mother, Wife, Daughter, Sister, Friend – living with chronic pain that will never leave so I am hoping this will be an outlet of better things to come……….
